After exploring the key concepts of media language and genre, we were to write an essay on the short film 'The Insane' bringing these concepts into account. It was also today we received the first draft of our 'Smashed' essay.
However, I have already began to correct my essay so do not have the first draft. Despite this, I have uploaded the assessment sheet to display what I received.
Above I have loaded the feedback from my first draft of the essay I wrote on 'Smashed'. I received a C grade (64%) and looked carefully at my targets in order to improve my essay writing. As you can see, I was good at using examples from the film, yet I needed to develop my essay writing style to deliver a stronger argument.
I took these targets on board and began to correct my essay, starting with a statement and expanding on this with examples and and explanation. This will help me achieve a higher grade for my second draft.
I also added a longer conclusion with a deeper analysis of meaning required.
As I wrote this essay before I learnt about the S-E-X-Y writing frame, I will now use this when correcting my essay.
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